These are the posts we never wish to publish, but Fay Dabney was for many years an active member of The Garden Club of the Back Bay, and we are going to miss her terribly. Most of us were not aware of her actual age, since up until quite recently she assisted as one of our “outdoor” volunteers during wreath week, braving inclement weather to organize our wreaths for delivery. She was wonderfully opinionated as well (“less is more”) and praise from her was highly cherished. Below is a reprint of her obituary. She led an extraordinary life and we look forward to honoring her in the Spring.
Fay Dabney, 92, died peacefully Monday,
December 9, 2019 at Massachusetts General Hospital after a brief
illness. A memorial service is scheduled for March 5, 2020 at the
Trinity Church, Copley Square, Boston, at 11 o’ clock. A private burial
will be held at Mount Auburn Cemetery, Cambridge.
Born in Boston on November 26, 1927, Fay was the daughter of Mary Fay Dabney (d. 1978) and George Bigelow Dabney (d. 1939). She and her family lived with her grandmother, Elizabeth Eliot Fay, at 298 Beacon Street, Boston, until her parents moved the children to Old Tannery Farm in Medfield so they could grow up in “the country.” Fay received her primary education at Charles River School in Dover and her secondary education at Winsor School in Boston as a member of the class of 1946. She spent her childhood summers in Woods Hole, where her mother was born, and in Wareham at her father’s family summer home. She graduated from Smith College in 1950 with a bachelor’s degree in French. Fay later earned a master’s degree in Business from Radcliffe College, erstwhile female counterpart to the then-all-male Harvard University.
Fay was predeceased by her brother, Lewis
Stackpole Dabney (d. 2014) of Chestnut Hill, and her sister Caroline
Miller Dabney Runner (d. 2011) and brother-in-law, Alfred (d. 2014), of
Santa Rosa, CA. She is survived by her sister-in-law Edith LaCroix
Dabney of Chestnut Hill; three nieces: Leila Dabney Marconi of Boynton
Beach, FL, Mary Fay Runner of Garden Grove, CA, and Bettina Dabney Abe
and her husband, George Allan Abe, of Acton, MA; a nephew, Alfred Dabney
Runner of Novato, CA; a grand-nephew, Thomas Dabney Abe of New York,
NY; and a grand-niece, Magdalen Allaine Abe of Acton, MA. Fay is
survived by many cousins on both the Fay and Dabney sides of her family.
She placed a high value on family connections, teaching each generation
about their roots and the storied history of their ancestors.
Travel was Fay’s lifelong passion and
occupation, driving her to take trips all over the world. She lived in
New York City for 20 years after graduate school and moved to Boston’s
Back Bay in 1978. A great lover of art, music, and culture, Fay had a
“delicious” zest for life and its beauty. She traveled to Iran and
Jordan when she was in her eighties; at 88 she made one last visit to
Paris, her favorite city. A 30-year employee of Raymond and Whitcomb
Travel Company, Fay planned detailed itineraries for her clients, who
returned for her expertise again and again. Fay became known as the
premier travel consultant in Boston who had firsthand knowledge of
destinations around the world. Fay traveled to Africa many times; she
loved all animals, but lions were her most favorite. She adored wolves
and celebrated their 1995 reintroduction to Yellowstone Park by visiting
the Elderhostel (now Road Scholar) there in the in winter to track and
study the now thriving ecosystem, thanks to the wolf population.
Undaunted by traveling solo, Fay was an unquenchable learner.
Fay was a generous supporter of local and
global charities and her alma maters. A patron of the arts, she attended
the Boston Symphony Orchestra, Tanglewood, Emmanuel Music of Boston,
the Cantata Singers of Cambridge, and the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.
She volunteered with the Friends of the Public Garden and Hale Barnard
Services. She was an active member of Trinity Church in Copley Square.
She also supported the Woods Hole Historical Museum and the Church of
the Messiah of Woods Hole. Fay loved to swim in the ocean and play
tennis. She was a member of the Boston Badminton and Tennis Club and the
Longwood Cricket Club. Fay was a dedicated fan of the Boston Red Sox
and attended games at Fenway Park into her nineties, a pastime she
enjoyed with her brother, Lewis.
A strong believer in human rights and an
environmentalist, Fay was a lifelong Democrat. Fay believed that if you
support the work of charity and citizen groups but are otherwise busy
with your occupation, then you should help fund the effort. She
supported, watched, and avidly listened to both public television and
radio. She supported The Shafeek Nader Trust for the Community Interest
of Washington, DC. and The American Museum of Tort Law in Winsted CT,
participating in its historic opening in September, 2015. Fay had many
deep and abiding friendships, not only with her contemporaries, but with
people of all ages. All who knew and loved her can attest to her
fearlessness, curiosity, joie de vivre, kindness, fierce independence,
and indomitable spirit.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Fay Dabney’s name to Trinity Church of Boston; the Church of the Messiah of Woods Hole; Hale House Barnard Services, 273 Clarendon Street, Boston, MA; the Boston Symphony Orchestra; and the American Museum of Tort Law (https://www.tortmuseum.org/).
